Thanksgiving

What a time to be reminded of how blessed we are. This year we had Theo's parents with us from Haiti. That place is a wreck. They started off the year with an earthquake. Then they had a few bad storms during the summer. Now a cholera outbreak, and another storm. And 2010 isn't even over. I know I've said all of that before, but going over it again reminds me of how easy I have it at this point of my life. I'm so incredibly grateful to not have to live through anything remotely as difficult as what most haitians have to live through, but it is amazing to see how hardhship (especially for believers) draws you so near to God. I guess thats why in Hebrews it talks about how we will go through hardship if we are truly sons (and daughters) of God. His discipline is good and b/c he loves us. (we discipline our kids b/c we love them! Not b/c we just feel like being mean and harsh to them.) It's crazy how everything in the human heart wants to avoid difficulty and harship at all costs. Our nature and our society tells us to pursue a comfotable and easy life and that will give us peace and joy. I find it to be one of the hardest things to face about myself. I totally DO want to be comfotable in life....financially mainly. I've bought into the lie that if I have financial security then I'll pretty much have no worries at all in life...that money can buy pretty much anything. Ugh. It's hard to unconvince myself of that and believe the truth which is that my security and peace and joy and anything else that is good can truly only be found in Jesus.
Ok, so back to my point...this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for a savior who loves me, forgave me, provides for all my needs, a healthy and loving family, an amazing husband and 3 beautiful and amazing daughters. I am so blessed. Of course my list of things that I'm thanksful for could go on and on...but my littlest blessing keeps me up at night and I'm tired. Thank you Jesus for a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Olivia Love Steinhauer

Yaaaaay! Yes...I finally gave birth to my sweet Olivia! On the day of Oct 29th, I was out and about with my mom and the girls and wondering when I would have that baby. I was even still questioning if it was truly a she or if we might be surprised with a boy. At a quick stop to a little surf shop that day, I saw a bright yellow sign that said 'OLIVIA' on it and it just kinda gave me a little assurance that it truly was a girl and that maybe it was even the day to meet her. So as the day went on, I of course noticed that I was having contractions but they weren't consistent or intense or anything so I went back to thinking maybe it wasn't actually the day to meet her. Theo was in school all night and got home around 11:15p. I noticed that he was home and reading the bible so I just went back to sleep. I looked at the the clock at 11:30p, right as Theo turned off the light and I suddenly felt a really hard {painful} contraction and a 'pop'! My water broke! I jumped out of bed fast enough to not let water get everywhere, but as soon as I stood up the flood waters came! The crazy hard contractions started coming immediately and with every one I had, more water kept coming out. I knew I didn't have alot of time since I was already feeling some pain.
I quickly called my midwives office to let them know I was going to the hospital, then called my roommate to come home to be with the girls. Funny how the 1 night she was away to house-sit was the big night for us! So my mom waited at home with the girls until Carla got there then drove herself to the hospital. I knew I couldn't wait for her. This too was Theo's opportunity to drive like a nascar driver again...he loves it. When we pulled up to the hospital, Theo dropped me off at the maternity services door and had to go park the van. I went up the elevator myself to try to hurry and get checked in. Now imagine me, having hard contractions one after another, trying to walk while I hold a towel between my legs so I wouldn't leak all over the place. So this nurse walks out from around the corner and sees me standing there by myself holding the towel in one hand, and me holding onto the railing with the other and she says, 'Woah, where did you come from?!' {thinking to myself...hmm...does that really matter right now? I came from home and I need a place to drop this baby!} I just told her I needed a room and asked if I could get there quickly. So she led me to a room and all the nurses were scrambling to get me situated. Theo walked in with my stuff, then Sarah walked in. Mom came in a close 3rd. :) And last but not least, my friend Heather, the 'photog' made it in time. So the nurse girl 'checks' me and I was 4cm dialated and asked if I wanted an epidural. I figured that if everything was so intense and I was only 4 cm, I might be there forever in total misery waiting to get to 10cm, so the epidural was in order. About 10 minutes later I let them know I was starting to feel some pressure in my 'down there' region and they checked me again. {thanks for that...ugh...the second you let them know you feel something, they're so quick to torture you a bit more just to "check" whats happening} Well I was at 6-7cm. I was starting to get the feeling that if this epidural guy {Tarzan as they described him} didn't walk in the door right away, I wouldn't have time for my epi. Well, sure enough he didn't make it. Probably 20-25 minutes from the time they first checked me, I was already at 10cm and it was too late. At that point I was definitly feeling like I needed to push. {It actually felt like I needed to poop. Lovely. There's nothing like telling a bunch of strangers that you feel like you're about to poop right in front of them...horrible.} Luckily these peeps deal with this stuff all the time and are ready for anything. Now I'm on my knees, the back of the bed is up and I'm facing backwards leaning into the bed and holding Theo's hands. This took a ton of pressure off, and let me press my huge belly into the bed to help me push. So I was doing that for a little bit until they couldn't get a read on their little monitor thing of Olivia's heart rate so they made me turn over. I pushed a few times like that and the midwife told me to open my eyes, then there she was! Olivia was half way out when I spotted her in all her glory.... hmmm....maybe not totally glorious but you know what I mean. But it truly was an amazing moment. It was done. She was out and I could hold this precious girl in my arms. It's kinda crazy how much relief you feel once that baby is out. Yeah then the pain comes back with the after birth contractions, hurting nipples from nursing, and everything else...all you moms know what I'm talking about. She's so worth it. Anyways, there's the story...Olivia is finally here! <3

I totally WAS in labor!

So last night around 9:30p I started noticing I was having some good contractions coming along. Good as in hard and kinda taking my breath away. So as I watched the clock, I realized they were coming about every 8-10 minutes. Then after a few more hours they got down to 5 and even 2 minutes apart and my back was starting to hurt. Doesn't that sound like a girl in labor?! So we put everything in the car and I called the dr. He said yes, I should go to the hospital, since it's numero 3! So literally as we were walking out the door, Stella walks out of her room. The girl was wide awake and wanting to know what the party was all about. I knew we couldn't actually explain it b/c she'd throw a fit and want to come with us. So we defaulted to the 'because I said so' answer as to why she needed to go back to bed. Haha! So of course, she wants us to stay with her for a little while before she falls back asleep. So Theo goes in there and she stayed totally awake! SO I just sat on the couch waiting, and I fell asleep. It was like 1:30a at this point. I guess around 2:30a I woke up from another hard contraction, but noticed that they had generally slowed down significantly since I sat on the couch. So we just went back to bed and didn't meet Olivia last night. What a crazy thing...we were totally convinced that Olivia was going to make her grand entrance last night, but I guess not!
The cool thing is that I've really been praying that I wouldn't have to go to the hospital and be given terbutaline or vistaril (sp?) how I was with both other girls... That I would just have the baby on the right day without the shananigans before hand. So really although we thought last night was it, apparently the Lord used Stella to make us stay b/c it just wasn't time. He's got my back. :) And....we're back to the waiting game!

{HOLY HUGENESS!}

Cholera Outbreak in Haiti

This is so intense. What a year for Haiti. They got started off with a devastating earthquake, had a couple of bad storms make their way right through there and are now finishing up with a cholera outbreak. And there's still a few months left to the year! Ugh.. It's so hard to know how to pray for the situation. The Lord is allowing all of this to happen in that country...maybe not causing it...but maybe so. I know...I said it. Why do we forget that the Lord has emotions...he gets angry with sin...He does take things personally...not saying that all of Haiti is in full blown sin and rebellion to God so He is causing His wrath on them...but it does kinda seem like that, doesn't it? I mean, He's deifnitly caused total destruction on places before, why wouldn't He do it now? He's the same God as always, right? And His ways are beyond our ways. He is God and we are man...I'm just learning to fear the Lord more and more and lean on Jesus. There's so much that I don't understand. Anyways...all I know to do at this point is to pray for the believers there...for grace to handle it and for my family thats in Haiti. They are directly involved in the relief work of these devastating times. As of tomorrow, 20+ drs will be based at our family's beach house which happens to be a central location to where the outbreaks are happening. hmm...I don't know what to think about that...makes me nervous but maybe the Lord is using it as a safe-haven and 'pocket of mercy?' Only time will tell, I guess. If you read this, please pray for the safety of our family. Thanks.

Some pics from this year...

My big belly at the beach...

The girls playing in the shallow water.

Naya freaked out over the crab.

Stella and I.

Stella and Silas...BFFs. :)

My girls...

A few months ago, the Lord gave me this idea to start a blog or journel or something to record things about my girls. I had an overwhelming sense of sadness thinking that as time passes I might forget things about them how they are now....they way they talk, the funny things they do, ect. So I finally made them each a blog page where I can just note things as they happen so when they're older, and I'm older, we can all look back and remember. The blogs are pretty new so there's not much to them just yet but I'm excited they're up now. Enjoy!

http://dearstella3.blogspot.com

http://mynaya1.blogspot.com

My very own fireman...

SO, I realized that due to my lack of blogging I never wrote about my studly husband starting the fire academy. He's almost 3 months into it now, but he was accepted to the Coral Springs Fire Academy in August! Apparently, CSFA is one of the best fire schools in the state, which is exciting. It's also super strict and has higher standards than the others. Theo says it was a bit militant in the beginning, but now that a bunch of guys either failed out already or were dismissed from the program for whatever reason, the instructors are getting a little nicer. (not really though, ha!)

Anyways, on the first day of school Theo was chosen to be a squad leader which we were excited about. And for the last month now, he was has been moved to the Class Leader role....yessss. I kinda get proud. :) So the chain of command now, is the chief, the instructors, our very own "Steinhauer", squad leaders then the students. SO my man has been put in quite a nice and kinda important position. Thank you Lord for this promotion. It's been a new kind of deal for Theo as he is having to boss around a bunch of guys including men older than him and if you know my husband, he's just a sweet and tenderhearted kinda guy. So the chief (who is forever yelling at these guys) actually yelled at Theo for not yelling at the rest of the class, haha! What a guy. We're blessed that the entire class really does like and respect Theo and his leadership style at this point and Theo, contrary to the chief, isn't constantly "ripping them a new one" as the guys call it. Sorry for the gross terminology.

Somehow we've also gotten a few good hook ups from this deal...one of the students who is no longer with us....as in he failed out, not dead...manages a car wash place so we get to have a decent vehicle! God knows my girls can make quite a mess in point 3 seconds. And another guy, who is still in the game with Theo, owns a pizza place! His family has this yummy pizza joint like 5 minutes from our house and yes oh yes, we do love pizza around here. Today for lunch will be our second pizza hook up from that wonderful and glorious family. :)

Theo also passed his national EMT certification (Thank God), so hopefully when he graduates the academy in February he will get hired onto a department (hopefully, Pompano Beach) ASAP! The Lord seems to be making a way for that situation, so we'll see! The other day at Costco, I was resting on a huge case of canned corn while I waited for a friend to make it to my aisle, and after about 4 random people telling me that I looked like I was about to 'pop' (thanks people), this nice older guy comes by and just asks me when I'm due. He actually has a decent conversation with me about the fact that I'm about to 'pop'...asking me how I'm feeling, ect (without creepiness, thank you)...anyways, I noticed he was wearing a Pompano Beach Fire Dept shirt...so I was able to change the subject from my giant self, to him being someone who could hook us up. :) Of course, I got to informing him about Theo being in fire school and how we wants to work for Pompano Beach, etc. Well as it turns out, this guy has been with the dept for 22 years, is a driver engineer (which Theo is very interested in for the future), and even openly told me about the church he goes to...which I love and happened to go to for like 12 years or something. Hmmm...so I got a little excited for the clearly God meeting in the Costco aisle, then got a litte more excited when the guy wrote down Theo's name "Steinhauer" and said he would be putting in a good word for him! I mean, he didn't even meet him! And he just talked to me, his about to pop wife in the most random of places, sitting on corn at that... From past experiences, this is how God does things for our family. Very randomly. :) Lord, let your will be done, not ours!

38 weeks...

I AM SO TIRED. Maybe walking all over 2 thrift stores today with the girlies in tow was a bit much for me at this point. But I must say that between yesterday and today, I made out like a bandit with my thrift store finds. I got this gorgeous bedspread and shams, an Old Navy dress and a silky breastfeeding friendly top all for $5 dollars! Hello?! Why would a person ever want to shop at a dept store again?! And when my friend Carla, who was with me noticed the bedspread set that I found she informed me that her sister has the exact set on her bed and knows she paid a ton for it! Ahh....sweet satisfaction.
Last night I was fully convinced that I was going into labor. I was having a ton of hard contractions that were hurting around to my back. I couldn't sleep at all until about 4am when they suddenly just slowed down. :( So although I didn't get to meet my Olivia last night, surely she'll be here soon.

Almost done!

Wow, I'm in my 37th week now and getting pretty excited to meet my little darling. If it's really a girl,(which I do think it is) her name will be Olivia Love. Olivia was the very first name that dropped on my mind when we found out I was pregnant again. But then as we know, we were told it was a boy so that took "Olivia" out of the running. I guess Olivia wouldn't make such a great name for a little stud of ours, would it?! But at our 30 wk ultrasound we got the news that it's actually a girl! :) I'm so happy to add another little cookie to our clan. Stella and Naya are such little mama's and can't wait to meet her. Oh- and the reason I mentioned "if it's really a girl" is b/c my friend also had an ultrasound at 30 wks and was told it's a girl...and delivered a boy. SO...I'm trying to stay at peace with that kind of situation possibly happening to us. At least we have a great boy's name (Elias Theodore) IF it does happen. Anyways, I had my weekly appointment this morning and not a thing is happening with my uterus. No dialation, no thinnning of my cervix...nothing. It's amazing how that can be the case with all the pressure and sharp stabs I'm feeling 'down there.' I mean, sometimes I feel like this baby could break my water with all the ninja moves 'she' is doing in there. I guess her little water balloon is getting kinda tight these days. And let's not even talk about how totally deformed and not-round my belly gets when she's in her "awake time." She's definitly not moving around as much throughout the day anymore, but by the evening she's ready to show off her moves. It's so funny how we (preggo people) miss all of this when we're not pregnant anymore. I remember missing Naya being in my belly right after she was born. I was so happy to hold her in my arms and see her beautiful face, but I guess there's just something so incredible and powerful and spiritual about having your child nestled safely inside of you. Thinking on that, I've decided not to be anxious in the 'get this baby out of me' kind of way anymore. Within the next few weeks, she will be out and I'll be blessed with another arrow to our quiver. But for now, I'm going to relish all of those sharp jabs and other crazy ninja moves she gives me while she's tucked away "peacefully" within me. :)

Moving Time!

SO, I'm extremely excited to announce that we're moving into a new house in about 2 weeks! That would make move number 12 within 5 years for us. For real. So while I'm obviously a bit tired of moving every 5 minutes, I'm excited that it's a nice house that seems like we can settle in for the next several years...at least. It's close to the beach, close to our church and close to our friends. What else could we ask for?? Well affordablity, a fenced in yard, and a nice landlord....and we get all of those things too! See my excitement?? OH, and even more, the landlord is a contractor who is renovating the whole house!!! New A/C, new appliances, new deck in the back yard...the works. I recognize the Lord's goodness to us and am so thankful. For those of you who haven't been keeping up with me, we've been having a bit of a roach problem. Yes cockaroaches. 'German roaches' to be exact. There are tons of them in my kitchen and bathroom and nothing will make them go away. Really the problem is with the whole building but I can't much about that. But I'm literally getting anxiety from living with all the roaches who are taking over the house.

I know, I know

So it's been a month since my last post. Sorry but hubby has been away and business with these 2 little ones has kept me from writing. Ok, not just that...but I've bene in some sort of 3rd pregnancy funk. I'm thinking it's somewhat normal but it doesn't take the frustration of it away. This time around, I'm like 10 times more tired than I was with either of the girls. Not good since the girls still need so much attention. I'm wondering if I'm lacking some important energy giving vitamin or something. We'll see when I see my midwife again. Anyways, Theo has been away in New Hampshire for the last 10 days. Again, it feels like he's been gone for 10 months, but I admit my emotions are a little exaggerated these days. He's been in training for Wilderness First Responder certification and passed with flying colors. :) He'll go back in July to continue the training which will certify him as a Wilderness EMT. We're excited about all of this since we know God is the one who opens doors and he's truly made a way for this training free of cost to us. It's a big blessing that we're waiting to see the purpose of. We don't know why all of this is happening right now, but Theo is enjoying the ride since he gets to be out in the wilderness so much. BUT, this momma is ready to have him home. In about 4 hours he'll be back with us and hopefully relaxing over a yummy dinner to celebrate his 29th birthday. The girls are doing great...Stella is obsessed with Diego. Not Dora, Diego. He's more adventurous apparently. She's so much fun to be around and such a charming little person. Her vocabulary cracks me up. She's like 2 feet tall but she talks like she's 10 years old. Naya is a total cuddle bug. She wants to be sitting on me or rolling around on me at all times. Her chubby self is all tan from being at the pool so much and her hair is getting lighter and lighter. I'm so blessed to have these girls. And I've also been feeling this baby (boy!) kick! Such an amazing feeling...it never gets old! I'm starting to get more excited and aniticpating having a son. Crazy that I have to start over now though since I don't own a single boy item. Oh well, it'll all come. Anyways, off to get ready for papa to come home!

Yeah...

So I realized it's been a while since my last post...maybe a week or so....feels like alot has happened. Here we go....first of all, somehow my ob/gyn in Haiti is able to tell women the sex of their baby super early....not sure exactly how since everywhere I read I see that you can't tell until about 16-20 weeks. I was told last week, (at 11 1/2 wks) that we're having a BOY! I mean, thats some really exciting news for us...if it's accurate! We were told at 15 weeks that Stella was a boy...with the little ultrasound picture with 'BOY' on it and everything. SO we're excited but trying to not be too excited in case 11 1/2 weeks is too soon. My sister in laws were both told by this same ob/gyn in Haiti what gender their babies were, one at 9 weeks and one at 11 weeks and it was accurate for both. So, here I am thinking we're going to have a son, but hesitant to really believe it. I'll post again when we know for sure!

Also, we've been in Florida for almost a week now. It's beautiful here. I feel so blessed to have a nice little apt to come back to. It's ironic the timing of this trip back to FL. I'm 12 weeks pregnant....just finishing the bad part (first trimester) of this pregnancy. I spent the most difficult part right in Haiti. Imagine that. But the Lord knows. And now I'm enjoying south Florida all the more. It's also been great to be with friends and our community of believers again. I realized that I start to wither on the inside if I'm removed for too long from a solid body of believers who I'm connected to. We left IHOP in the beginning of Dec...now almost 6 months later I'm able to get reconnected and in a consistent place of teaching and being fed. It's so refreshing. I cried last night at our Friday night service, not so much b/c of what was being sang (during worship), but b/c I was so moved to be part of a body that was all singing in unison and worship to Jesus. I love that. I like to think about how if it moves little ole me as much as it does then what does it do to the heart of God?! Ah....awesome.

That's about it...having a boy, back in Florida (for now), and still loving Jesus. :)

An exciting day...

Yes I'm talking about today. First of all, I have an appointment and my ob might tell me if I'm having a boy or girl! Ah! So fun! Although I'm only 11 weeks along, they somehow are able to tell you earlier here. A benefit of being in Haiti right now...I guess. So you know I have these 2 sweet girls and you would think I'm dying for a boy.....but I'm not. I mean, of course it would be so fun to have a son especially since I just don't know how many more babies this bod can handle. I'm just in the groove of girls at this point. I kinda feel like I wouldn't know what to do with a little....ya know. A few months back I witnessed my nephew's circumsision and yes, I was totally, 100% traumatized. So anyways, we'll know soon enough!

Reason #2 for an exciting day....we're flying to Florida tonight! For free! On a nice jet! SO FUN! I'm just really ready for a break from Haiti....already. I may seem like a wimp, but first trimester preggo in Haiti for a Florida girl is just....hard. I mean we've been here for a little over a month and it feels like a year. Ok maybe not that bad...but imagine being a stay at home mom who is very much a homebody with the things that you and the kiddies are used to, the comforts of your 'home', your kitchen gadgets, familiar foods and snacks, parks, pools, church, your friends, and when you're pregnant and feel like puking every 5 minutes, you can puke in an odor free, somewhat comfortable place and then lay down on your own bed or couch and put on a movie so your 2 year old is entertained for a little bit ....then you move to a 3rd world country where you don't have any of the things you're used to and your house is not a home. You can't even leave your house which is also walled and gated in. And if you could leave....where would you go? And with what vehicle? Oh and when you do go in a car, your 2 kids have to sit on your lap b/c there's not enough space for carseats...and nevermind the potholes. Your kids would bounce around like ping pong balls in there if your arms weren't the seatbelts. The car situation feels really good on the nausia and growing belly too by the way. You have a couple of toys for your kids which get old for a 2 and 1 year old in about 5 minutes and the kids that come around, you wonder if your child will get sick from playing with them and you of course can't even communicate with anyone.... Nothing is the same here. The smells are a little intense. You wake up to roosters crowing 5 feet from your window at 4:30am. (It actually sounds kinda nice when they're a bit further away and not at 4:30 :) If it's not roosters, cows and neighbors, it's mack trucks honking their horns seemingly in your driveway...yes all at 4:30am. So...I'm just sayin...when you're pregnant (again, first trimester)...really sick and really tired and running after your other 2 babies you just want a little comfort, right? (Yes, this may be the priss coming out in me...) Our pretty little house is bare and fairly empty as of now. No such thing as entertainment in the house...no tv, music playing device, internet...just a few things I'm acustomed to. Oh, we do have a little portable dvd players which we use for a movie every other day or so. I say this with a realization that we truly believe that God wants us here for a while (which I don't know what a 'while' is) but it doesn't make the challenges less challenging, does it? Maybe it does...b/c at least I know we're supposed to be here and not just 'serving Haiti' in our own strength. B/c I guess we wouldn't be here if it were for that. Unfortunatly, that does make me feel a bit spoiled...but what do you expect when you're raised in the comforts and ease of life in the US? I'm confident that in due time (meaning the glory of the second trimester)...and once we can make our house homey and more familiar for our family, and once some of the spoiledness leaves me and I'm able to remember for longer than 10 minutes at a time how blessed we are, all will be well again. But currently I'm ready to be back in my little familiar place called Florida. :) Sorry for the long list of complaints. I couldn't hold it in. Hopefully that's the only time you'll have to endure my whining on a post.

#3

Yeah, so I was just thinking that I was out of the woods with this nausia stuff and suddenly this intense feeling of 'ready to puke' just comes upon me. What is up with that?! I'm chewing some peppermint gum now which is helping but that bad feeling is still lingering a little...Yuck! Second trimester, hurry up and get here!

Haiti

It's hot here. Jeans are a no-no. Just felt the need to share with you all...if you ever decide to visit Haiti, do not wear jeans. Especially if you're pregnant and in Haiti....don't wear them.

Our Family

So this is my go at blogging and I'm hoping I have the inner strength to keep it going. :) I love writing so this should work out nicely. I am a 'finally appreciating that I am Puerto Rican' mom of 2 that was raised in South Florida. I am married almost 5 years at this point, to Theo and we have 2 beautiful daughters named Stella, and Naya. It's amazing how time flies. Sometimes I just think back and wonder how so many big things like getting married and having kids happened so quickly. It's true, life is but a vapor. I'm also 11 weeks pregnant with babe #3. This one has been a hard one. But I guess I have several other factors influencing the difficulty of this first trimester. We just moved to Haiti! Yes, 3rd world country Haiti. And we came after the Jan 12th earthquake at that. Needless to say we're still adjusting. We are a Jesus loving, Jesus trusting, Jesus following family. We try hard to literally do those things....not just to say 'we love Jesus' and go about doing what we want. That being said, this is why we moved to Haiti. Oh, and my husband is Haitian! So, this is our family. I hope to share our life and love with you here!