Peace

It's been a very unusual Mother's Day for me... I mourn the fact that death and sickness happen in this life...which no one can escape, and that we're walking through a personal example of that...But by God's grace and mercy, I've been able to separate that, from the fact that our 4th baby is with the Creator of heaven and earth right now...and only for a while we'll be apart, but one day we'll be together again. What else in this life can give a person peace of mind and hope like that?? If you truly believe, then there is peace! God is so gracious and kind to walk through difficulty with us! 
I hope it doesn't seem like I'm being insensitive to it all...we've cried ALOT. Obviously, we wish we could have had that baby. But God has been so kind to show us His perspective on it and that's where the peace comes in. John 8:32 "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." So even today...Mother's Day...I'm free from sadness or depression. I have peace and joy over the goodness of my King! 

Mother's Day 2012

This is an abnormal and exciting Mother's Day for me this year. I have no choice for it to be abnormal, but I am choosing for it to be exciting. For 5 years now, I've been blessed by being on the receiving end of Mother's Day, and what an honor it has been. This year we celebrate it with a twist.

I am almost 10 weeks pregnant as I write this. I usually show early and I already have a belly. My girls have been really excited for another baby brother or sister and so have Theo and I. We fully believe what the Bible says about children...that they are a blessing, an inheritance from Him, and a reward. We are happy and excited over every pregnancy and it is never a curse or punishment, as some may believe. In His kindness, He blesses with a child.

A few weeks ago, I got some strong cramps and was not feeling good. I went to the doctor and he told me that my baby had stopped growing and had no heartbeat. I was advised to go right away for a D & C.  I was brokenhearted. I also can't tell if I fell into denial of it all, or if I rose up with faith and hope that the doctor was wrong and my baby was fine....that he misread the ultrasound. I went home, spoke with Theo and we prayed. We decided to wait and not have the D & C that day as the doctor was recommending. As I waited and prayed, my body felt pretty ok. I felt pregnant. Nothing abnormal was happening, and I found a website dedicated to misdiagnosed miscarriages. Most of the stories were exactly like mine and their babies were perfectly healthy, which made my denial/hope that the dr was wrong even stronger!

We became convinced that our baby was healthy and because of my tilted uterus and the abdominal ultrasound that they used {rather than the trans-vaginal ultrasound which is what they usually use in first trimester pregnancy} that he just missed it. He was surely wrong.

We decided to wait another week or 2 to let the baby get bigger before we went to a new doctor to 'confirm' that our baby was actually nice and strong. It's interesting timing, all of this, because it's Mother's Day weekend. This week was Mother's Day here in Mexico, and tomorrow is Mother's Day in the states. Finally, we decided enough time had passed to get checked out and we made an appointment for Friday {yesterday}.

My mind was going crazy thinking that the doctor was either wrong or right. I was praying often asking the Lord to show me what was happening. Meantime thinking how my friends must think I was loosing my mind to not just believe the doctor. But I knew God wanted to do something good for my soul.

Tuesday early morning, I had a dream. In my dream, my friend Evelyn was in front of me, and was helping me deliver my baby. I had a beautiful baby girl. She looked exactly like her sisters....a little tan with white/blonde peach fuzz! And she was asleep....just a precious baby. I gave her to my friend Evelyn to hold. Then, there was a funky twist. I thought I was having another baby...but it was a baby bird! I held the baby bird in my hand and she quickly grew bright blue feathers all around. Then she grew a little bigger and her feathers were longer and even more beautiful. Then, she flew off my hand and onto Theo's shoulder. And my dream ended.

I was excited because I knew the dream was from God, but I was trying to understand it. I hadn't spoken with that friend Evelyn in a long time and was wondering why she was in the dream...and what the little blue bird represented. Finally, we decided to look up the meaning of the name Evelyn, and it means LIFE.
We were excited and even more sure that our baby was alive and now thinking it was another girl! YAY!

So yesterday as we went into the doctor's office, my stomach was in knots. I was fine the entire day until it was time to go, then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I had major anxiety! Theo was with me and he prayed over me and was making me laugh to help me be calm. As the ultrasound began, my eyes were searching the screen....looking for what I was sure I would see. I've looked at an ultrasound screen many times, so I knew what I was looking for. We saw the baby sac and the doctor showed us the placenta. He also showed us the baby. Baby was very small and not up to size to my gestational time...the sac and placenta were, but not the baby, and there was no heart beat.

I was surprised that my first emotion wasn't saddness, but anger.  I was just mad, because I had believed that baby was doing well! The doctor explained to me how the baby's chromosomes are supposed to line up and connect and if they don't align and connect properly, it results in down syndrome or many other issues. Usually, the body will stop the development naturally and you'll miscarry, or sometimes the pregnancy will continue and you'll have the baby. Immediately, the thought came to my mind, that it wasn't just my body but God, who stopped the progression of this pregnancy.

On the car ride home, I began remembering how over the last few weeks I had come across several stories of mother's with children with special needs. Many women who were brave and loving and even when they learned of their sick baby during pregnancy, they were courageous and didn't abort their baby. I was so proud of those women and have always known that we would never abort a baby either. But I was also thinking of how tough it would be to have a special needs baby...especially for me, already having 3 very young kids. My thought was, well the Lord gives the grace to those who need it, and it is sufficient for whatever situation He allows.

I remembered looking back after leaving the ultrasound room and seeing the doctor and his nurse looking at and discussing my scan. I heard him say something about the shape of the baby sac too. I wondered if he could tell that things weren't forming right, besides just the baby being small.

Then I realized that I shouldn't be mad at God for allowing this to happen, because I know that in this life, sickness and death happen.  But instead I should be thankful that though we live in a fallen and death filled world, He had mercy on us. He knew that we would never abort, but welcome our baby no matter how hard and tiring the situation might be. And in His sovereignty He chose to take this baby to care for it Himself.

Just as in my dream, our baby was alive and was with the Father! {She} was also beautiful and healthy now, where if she would've been born to us, she may have been sick and weak. With a corrected perspective of the situation, my heart came alive again. I realized God's kindness and goodness. I recognized that His will is sometimes to give the blessing of a baby {whether fully healthy, or with difficulties}, and sometimes His will is to take those precious babies to care for Himself. Either way, God is good and we're right to declare so.

When I asked God to speak to me through His Word about this, I came to Psalm 96: 4-6
"Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! He is to be feared above all gods. The gods of other nations are mere idols, but the Lord made the heavens! Honor and majesty surround him; strength and beauty fill his sanctuary."


What my baby and millions of babies are experiencing this very moment, is absolutely amazing! They are currently with the living God and are experiencing honor, majesty, strength and beauty! Not to mention they're full of health and happiness! Can we not see how awesome God is?! Talk about truly taking care of His children! What a great Father we have!

After the doctor's appointment, I started thinking of Job {from the Bible}, and how God and Satan were testing him. How difficult his life became because although we have freedom of choice, God trusted and tested that Job would never choose to curse Him for all the difficulty. Satan obviously wanted Job to curse God for it all. But Job never did. He blessed and praised God and continued to declare that God is good! I became so encouraged by Job's example! He knew that no matter what, God remains good to those who love him! And I definitely love him. So I began to say out loud, 'God, you are good!' And it was so right.

I also began recognizing that so many others have gone through this situation, and worse! I recognized how He's blessed me with a wonderful husband and 3 healthy daughters. I recognized how He's blessed us with a good life. I have so much to be thankful for, that I sadness can't stay for very long! Thank you Jesus!

We pulled up to our friend's house after our appointment to pick up our 3 treasures, Stella, Naya and Olivia. I was still a little weepy from the roller coaster of emotions, so Theo went in alone to get the girls. I stayed in the car and looked over at the house next door. It was bright and yellow and for the first time, I noticed that in front of the entry way they had a single blue bird sitting on a hanging perch. I couldn't help but smile see that God was reminding me again of my beautiful and healthy baby that was with Him.

Tomorrow I get to celebrate Mother's Day, and think of all 4 babies He's given me. The kindness of God to bless us 4 times with such gifts is amazing and I'm so thankful. I may be more thankful than any other Mother's Day yet. And, whats more than all of that, I realize that without Jesus I would not have access to relationship with the Father, the Creator who is the giver of Life. In a matter of about 10 weeks, He has given and taken away...  He is good and we are happy.

My hope is that for those who know God, to remember His goodness to you. Recognize Him, and His mercy over your life. Be thankful, praise Him and know that He is always good.

For those who don't yet know God. Pray and ask to know Him. Only in this way could you ever have peace, joy and true life. Only by knowing Jesus, can you be sure of anything. Only by having the spirit of the Messiah living within you can you have HOPE and HAPPINESS no matter what circumstances life brings. You may be shaken, but you will not fall. Life without Jesus can only offer us death. Jesus loves us and wishes that none would die due to rejecting Him. So choose Him, and LIVE!

I have felt the struggle of my flesh pulling and wanting me to feel sorrowful, sad and depressed. But by the grace and mercy of God, I've also felt Him reminding me of His goodness, the Hope he has given me, and the Joy I can and do have. What a miracle. What a tender and loving God I serve. He has compassion on His children and takes such good care of us.

I have been willing to hear Him and accept what He is doing in my life and give Him glory the whole way through. And now I'm blessed to know Him in a new way. I'm personally experiencing His compassion and love like I never have before. He has pulled me out of a muddy pit that wanted to swallow me up and put me in a dark place mentally and emotionally. He has placed me on solid ground where there is LIGHT and LIFE, and my heart and mind are alive and at peace.

Thank you sweet Jesus for your way of tenderness and Love. Thank you for being the best Physician, Friend, and the Lover of my soul. I see how you love me. Thank you for the cross of Salvation, and thank you for today. You are good.

*We have explained to the girls that the baby is now with the Father in heaven. Stella was sad for a moment than got so excited that she'll get to see {her} one day and she's happy and healthy now!

Thank you so much to our friends who have prayed for us...we believe that your prayers for us have helped us get that corrected perspective of the situation!

Love and Blessings to you all...

Theo, Melissa, Stella, Naya, Olivia and happy baby in heaven!

"Then when our bodies have been transformed to bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled: 

'Death is swallowed up in victory.

O death, where is your victory?

O death, where is your sting?'

For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin it's power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.

So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless."

1 Corinthians 15:54-58

Steinhauer Family Missions Letter- May 2012

Steinhauer Family Missions letter

May 2012

Friends and family, we pray this finds you well! We’re already to the month of May!  This year {as usual} is passing so quickly! We’ll fill you in on what’s happened in our little world since our last missions letter, in February.

PERSONAL NEWS:  Our hearts are alive in Christ! By His grace and kindness, the Lord has been continuing to move us, speak to us and draw us near to Himself. The last few months have been filled with deeper revelation of the love of God for us personally and for the Body at large.  This has been creating an incredible love in our own hearts for the Body of Christ. What a precious gift we have been given, in each other! His Word has also been faithful to bring conviction to live a more wholehearted and truly devoted life in honor of our King.

FAMILY NEWS:  Our clan is growing!! As we write this, Melissa is about 8 weeks pregnant with baby #4! We are all excited and feeling very blessed. Stella and Naya are especially excited for a new brother or sister and talk about it nonstop! All 3 girls are doing great and growing fast. Stella and Naya enjoy learning and still love to play dress up and princesses. We hear they’ll never really grow out of that. J Olivia is 18 months old and is communicating more now through sign language and beginning to say a bunch of new words- mainly in Spanish. Stella is learning to read and write and enjoys writing letters to anyone that’s on her mind. She also LOVES Jesus and likes to learn all about Him. Naya seems to be our little prayer warrior. She is usually the one who begs to pray first during our family prayer times, and any time someone gets hurt, she is ready and willing to pray for them. We’re finding too that all 3 girls are very affectionate and love their cuddle times! Theo has also been doing spontaneous French lessons with the girls, so hopefully soon we’ll hear that more in their vocabulary. 

Psalm 127:3  “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”

MINISTRY:  As you may know by now, Baja Fellowship is our primary role here in regards to ministry. We are going on 9 months of an awesome home church community and we are blessed and humbled at what the Lord has done. The testimony of the Lord’s faithfulness and kindness to us and to the people that consider Baja Fellowship their church is overwhelming. We have an average of 40 people who attend regularly, including a kid’s ministry class for the kids 10 and younger. We’re experiencing hearts being convicted, encouraged and being drawn closer to Jesus each week. We’re having open confession and repentance, times of personal ministry and prayer, and communion. The stirring of the Holy Spirit in our midst through the teaching, worship and fellowship is powerful and we’re happy to call each other family! We are also holding a weekly prayer meeting on Thursday nights at our house for those who can’t attend on Sundays due to work or conflicting schedules.

Theo has also been teaching the interns at a local ministry called YUGO. He’s blessed to share his knowledge of Jesus, and exhorting and encouraging the young people to keep their eyes on the Prize. Theo has also been ministering to a neighbor, Richard who is a tender, kind and lonely man. He is very open to hearing about Jesus and we’re excited to give him a fresh and biblical perspective on Christianity!

Melissa is still attending her weekly women’s bible study, now focusing on the book of Ruth. She is so grateful to have the opportunity and blessing of joining with other women to learn more of the Word and draw closer to God and these sisters.

We are also very excited about the Prayer Watch {prayer room} that is up and running every Monday, Weds, and Friday mornings at our local YWAM Ensenada base! Theo has been asked to prayer lead and it is so refreshing to go as a family and worship God and pray as a community.

We are honored that the Lord has us here during this time and has been bringing more visitors than we ever had while living in the states. It’s been awesome to have guests from all over, make their way to our home and church!

We are now at a time where we feel that with a growing family and some added ministry expenses, that it’s time to ask you all, the Body, to consider a monthly partnership with us financially if you haven’t already. We are in need of a slightly increased income to meet our needs and expenses. The Lord uses the Body to support and encourage missionaries and pastors all around the world working for His purposes, and we find ourselves in that exact position too. By His grace, we obeyed His leadership in bringing us to Ensenada and are sure and joyful that we are in His will. Please let us know if you’d like to partner with us on a monthly basis or any sort of time/increment giving.  

The Lord has been faithful to use those who believe in His purposes and who believe in our family to help carry us along for years. We are so thankful and motivated to continue pursuing whatever He has planned for us, bringing Him glory along the way!

Some of our current and near future needs are as follows…

*Stella and Naya will be attending a small homeschool co-op this year! We are all very excited that they will have a more focused and structured setting for school that we all can be part of! We will need to pay for the curriculum that is chosen for both girls.

*We need to set aside the money for the dr. appointments and delivery of baby #4! We’ve already had to tap into our regular monthly income for several extra appointments and know that we don’t have any extra money to budget for that at this time. Baby is due in December!

*Home church expenses. Every Sunday after church, we have a potluck. Everyone brings their portion of food, but we supply the plates, cups, napkins, utensils, coffee, sugar and creamer. We’re blessed to have a Costco not far from our house to buy in bulk, and besides the occasional donation, those expenses are on us.  We also need kids activity supplies such as paper, pencils, crayons, etc, for kids ministry.

If you would like to give toward any of our specific needs or to partner with us monthly, please let us know! We’d love to get you on our weekly prayer list of supporters and partners.

THANK YOU to all of our friends who have been supporting and loving us through the years. We feel that genuine partnership with you and hope to see you all face to face sooner than later.

PLEASE NOTE! We have a NEW {personal} MAILING ADDRESS!  We will now be able to receive mail here in Mexico twice a week! 

Robert and Melissa Steinhauer

PMB 022

PO Box 189003

Coronado, CA 92178-9003

Please let us know if you have a package to send. We can accept them, but at a different address which we can give you. THANK YOU!

Our US magic jack phone line is (949) 945-5956.

theosteinhauer@gmail.com

melissasteinhauer@gmail.com

To support us financially with a tax deduction, you can go to www.lightinternational.org

Click on ‘Sponsor a Light Missionary,’ and click ‘give online.’ You can set up automatic with-drawl as well if you’d like. If you need help or would like more information, you can call Light International at (954) 876-0302.