Friday, November 4, 2011

"The Love Letter"

        So today was such an awesome day at home with my family. We're here in Mexico and for the very first time since we've been here, it's raining! All day long. Actually, now it's pouring. It's awesome! Of course the downers are that this evening we found, count them, 4 leaks in the house. And this is after the landlords had a guy come seal the roof. Bad news for them. And it's a hogs heaven outside with how muddy it is. Good thing we're getting more gravel for our yard on Saturday. Anyways, so today Theo and I spent real quality time {basically just alot of play time} with the girls while we did chores around the house. And we got pretty caught up on organizing things and laundry, which felt so good for both of us. Then I found it.
"The Love Letter."

We were setting up our spare room as an office/guest room and I was going through a box of old journals and random things. A handwritten letter fell out and I started reading it outloud to Theo. I was completely 100% sure it was from him, until I got to the middle of the letter when I read something about 'me having his heart for the last 3 1/2 years' or something like that...and I knew from the language in the letter that we weren't married 'yet.' There was all kinds of 'when we get married' talk, so I was a little confused. Theo and I were only together for 2 years before we got married. Thats around the point when I stopped reading out loud. And of course Theo looks at me and asks whats wrong. As he looked at the letter, he noticed that it wasn't his handwriting! He looking at the letter and saying, "thats not how I write my G's and that's not how I write my exclamation marks!" So I started laughing hysterically apparently trying to cover my total shock and nervousness.... and also because I was still kind of convinced that somehow this was from my wonderful and amazing husband and maybe there was just some sort of mix up! Ha! I know.

       Thing is that whoever wrote me that letter signed it "Love, Me." Great. Thanks alot, "Me!" And when I first started reading it I said to Theo, babe I wish you would date your letters so we could look back years later and see how long it's been. Today we've been together for 8 years! Never once did I come across this letter. Or maybe I did and didn't read the whole thing through and just assumed it was from my husband! Another tricky thing about this is that unfortunately I did date a few guys which were long term I totally truly have no idea who this 'Love Letter' is from. And I don't keep calling it the "Love Letter" to be cheeky.... the very first line of the actual letter is "Well here it 'Love Letter' to you" or something like that. It's kinda a crazy thing to find something like this after 6 years of marriage and to realize it's been traveling around with us this whole time but it's not from Theo...and we're just finding it now.

So thank God my husband is secure and trusts me....and with ALL REASON, he should! But of course just to make sure, I reassured him that this is super old and means nothing at all to me. And that all my love and thoughts are for him alone. He assured me back that he loves me and knows it's nothing. Whew. For some reason this kind of threw me for a loop for a second!

Hours passed and I started doing the dishes. I was alone in the kitchen with no distraction and what pops into my mind? Yes, the letter. There were some really lovey mushy things written there and suddenly I did find myself thinking, "who was that?!" I started thinking back on the few guys I was serious with in the past...  As a woman this is totally the kind of thing that would throw me into a little emotional whirlwind if I'm not careful, right?!

Then minutes later {honestly not very long} by the grace of God, I snapped out of it! "This is totally a trap!" This very morning when I was alone with the Lord, reading the Word, I literally felt compelled to stay in the book of Proverbs and I was literally praying for God to give me wisdom for my life. I went through several chapters, taking my time,  just trying to soak it all in...

Although I didn't come across any proverb that told me that if I suddenly find a love letter from an old boyfriend, 6 years into my marriage, just throw it out and don't waste your time and energy dwelling on it... I knew thats what should be done. That is wisdom. And the verse that came to mind was this... "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12

As Theo and I learn to love one another and be good partners for eachother in this life, it's not hard to see that our enemy hates us. He hates a God loving family. And we know he'll do anything, even ridiculous things like an old love letter, to try to bring division between us. So I called Theo over, explained to him everything I was thinking and we prayed together. I thank God for a God-fearing husband who prays and has discernment and love in his heart! We recognized this a a blatant attempt from the enemy to trip me up and the Lord allowing it to test my heart! Thank you Lord for your grace to handle this with wisdom today. I pray for this kind of response if anything else should ever rise up. Keep my heart pure and keep my marriage safe, God!

Ladies, it's not just men who the enemy wants to trip up...get wisdom, pray for your husbands and your marriages!

1 comment:

  1. Seriously...who says life as a christian is boring?! Ha!