God sang to me this morning...

Yes, you read that right. He sang to me. This morning at exactly 7:30. I've got to say, I've been a believer for a while now and I've definitly never heard the Lord sing directly for me. Not like this anyways.

So this is how it started...

I was laying in bed...awake for about a half hour while everyone else was still sleeping. I was hoping to just relish my alone quiet time while the house was quiet. Instead, I started thinking about God possibly taking my girls. As in, them dying. As usual when I think about that, tears rolled down my face and as usual, abnormal anxiety about it set in. For some reason, those kinds of thoughts pass through my mind more often than I'd like. I almost always cry when I think about it and I have to calm myself down and remind myself that absolutly nothing has even happened to them and they are perfectly healthy and safe.

I'm learning to 'take my thoughts captive' and give them over to the Lord, especially during those times when it seems my enemy just wants to induce overwhelming FEAR in me with some random possibility. I mean, like I said, my kids are FINE! More than fine...they're doing great....in every way. I should have virtually no concerns at all regarding them. But these thoughts come and I begin to reason that it is an actual possibility that God might decide to take the girls...even at a young age like this. And my heart breaks at the thought of how heart breaking that would be. Did you get that? My heart is tortured {now} at the possibility of my heart being tortured one day. Isn't that insane?! That is totally Satan's way. I mean, the reality is that yes, our days are numbered. God knows the day for all of us and every single person goes through the process of death. I get that. But why is it so incredibly difficult for me to think of that happening to my kids?

I'll get to the song part in a second, but I gotta finish this part, because if anyone out there reading this, struggles in similar ways, this will be all the more powerful for you. Our enemy, the devil....yes, Satan, hates our guts. He hates our families. He hates our minds, bodies and souls. As we know, he's out to kill, steal and destroy. EVERY single part of us. Any part that he can get under his deadly grip, he'll take it. For me, it has been fear. For so long, I would struggle with fear of random things happening. When I got married {pre-kids} I was terrified that something would happen to my husband....as in a car accident or some random injury that would take his life. Now, I rarely think of things like that regarding him, and it's all on my kids. The enemy has put crazy amounts of fear into my mind about my children dying....kind of because I've let him. I haven't called out to God for a sound mind in this area....ever. I just convince myself that if God ever did decide to take the girls or Theo, that He would just help me cope and get over it. Isn't that just mean? I know that he truly would do those things but the thought process is just mean and lacking love.

So back to this morning...

I was in bed thinking about them just passing from this life to {a better life in reality- with Jesus}, but there I was crying...not sobbing hysterically, but tears were flowing and I began crying out to God, "Father give me peace over this. Please, give me peace over this." Literally, that instant, not 5 minutes later...right then, we both heard loud and clear in our room, a song.

"I just called.....to say.... I LOVE YOU. I just called to say HOW MUCH I CARE. I just called to say I LOOOOOVE YOU. And I MEAN IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART."

Yep, Stevie Wonder. Now I started balling. And as I explained everything that had just happened, Theo confirmed that it was definitly the Lord answering my plea for peace. No other song played. It was the actual song people. It wasn't in my head.

Now if you believe in coinsidence, this may not move you. But we don't. At all. We believe things happen on purpose. Orchestrated by God.

I mean, For those of you who don't know, we live in a little suburb south of Ensenada, Mexico. Our area of the neighborhood is quiet. Not alot of traffic, quiet neighbors....just not alot of ruckus around here. And there isn't alot of the english language spoken around here either. And this morning...a random Wednesday at 7:30am, in our cement block house, we heard this song loud and clear, the very second I cried out to my God for peace in my heart and mind over a nagging attack from the enemy. If that wasn't just a direct and timely response, I don't know what is.

Now joy and thankfulness totally flooded me. I was now crying of overwhelming love back to this God who just told me....personally....that He loves and cares for me!  This is totally from God, to me. HE loves me! I've known that for a long time, but for it to be so direct, and His response to my aching heart that very moment, humbled me and made me so much more grateful for Him than I've been lately.

The Lord says He'll work out all things for my good because I love him and am called to his purposes. He's the giver of peace, comfort, love, patience....and all good things. I know that if something tough {like death} were to happen He is truly my comforter, but beyond that, in His soverignty, He allows things out of his LOVE for us. There are so many factors that we don't know, becasue we are not God. We don't see the big picture. We don't see what he allows out of pure mercy and kindness. Our perspective is not His, and our ways are not His ways.

All that to say, I have an overwhelming sense of peace in my heart over my life and all that is in it. The very thing I cried our for. Thank you God, for answering me so loud and clear this morning. I will never forget this and will remember it anytime 'he' wants to attack. God, you are faithful to me and I recognize that. Thank you, and I love you too.